HappyChucks   For Families Navigating the Autism Waters

When we first mention to somebody that Calvin gets Music Therapy, they almost always assume it's a bunch of kids sitting around in a circle and singing songs together, as if they're thinking "oh, the autistic boy likes to sing songs – how nice."

On one hand it makes me a little bit angry, because nothing could be further from the truth. Neurologic Music Therapy can have a profound effect on people who have difficulty controlling their bodies, such as people with autism, cerebral palsy, and those suffering from the effects of a stroke. (On the other hand, I can't blame them, because I didn't know anything about it before Calvin's diagnosis.)

Over the years, Calvin's NMT sessions became the most important hour of his week, and the people from the clinic were terrific with him. Cheryl & I began to get involved in any way we could, both with Neurologic Music Therapy Services of Arizona (NMTSA) and with Kris' Camp, a summer camp which shares many of the same protocols as NMTSA.

Last month Suzanne Oliver, the Executive Director of NMTSA, invited me to join her organization's Board of Directors. It's one of the biggest compliments I've ever received. (it's also one of the most nerve-racking – I hope I don't goof it up!) Now I get a chance to give back even more to the one person, outside of our family, who has given, and continues to give, the most to Calvin.

I strongly recommend you check out NMTSA if you live in Arizona, and to look into NMT services in your own state if you live elsewhere.

Ad: Find Music that moves your little one.

I read an article this morning from Dr. Ann Milanese, director of Developmental Pediatrics at the Connecticut Children's Medical Center in Hartford, who highlighted some great points with regard to how therapy can be more effective.

1. Children are children first, and they have symptoms of autism second.

Think about that for a minute. We push Calvin to work as hard as he can, and he's made great progress over the years. But we also realize that some of his progress has probably come from simply growing up; all kids can do more at 8 than they could at 4, right?  Also, just because a kid has autism doesn't mean he/she doesn't have fun - kids like having fun, and fun means different things to different kids.

2. Autism is a spectrum disorder with a good deal of variability in the way the symptoms express themselves.

I'm sure most of you already know this... Duh. But I think this point is still lost on the public at large. Autistic kids have different strengths and weaknesses, and are all unique individuals, just like typical kids. There isn't a one size fits all description available.

3. Therapy is more likely to be successful if it's fun. I think Dr. Milanese's point is that, while you need to work to develop weaknesses, no kid is going to prosper if they're not having fun.

We used therapy, especially in Calvin's early days of strict ABA-style, to hammer on his weaknesses. Basically, here's the program – now let's work our way through it (using rewards/motivators and breaks when necessary.) Calvin made a lot of progress under this program, but it's true that his most successful times were when we could figure out how to incorporate something he enjoys into the process of working on something he didn't. Even today, we try to mix hard work with play. Whenever we get greedy and demand a lot of hard work, all in succession, we'll also see lots of avoidance behaviors.

I don't think that's very different from anybody else, either. Our youngest, Jonas, doesn't enjoy work for work's sake. But if you get him playing an educational game he'll soak in every last bit of knowledge. I'd have to say I'm the same way – I'm older and have the discipline to force myself to work on improving my weaknesses, but I get a lot more out of it when it's fun!

People are people. Kids are kids. And autism can make learning and communicating a challenge...

Deal with it. Hit it hard. Make it fun!

Ad: Great ASD Friendly Toys to use in therapy.

The trouble with Hab (habilitation) workers is that once you have a good one, you get spoiled. And your expectations get raised for everyone else. The difference between a good Hab worker and an average one is enormous.

A good one becomes part of your team; an indispensible member of your family. Somebody whom you trust, respect, and rely on. Someone you invite to birthday parties and family outings. We've even known friends who invite their hab workers to vacation with them! And the whole time, you know your little one is getting productive use of every minute he spends with them.

We've found average hab workers to be a huge drain on our resources. They work OK with Calvin, but they don't get the most out of him. They're generally reliable, but they might show up late or call in sick a little too often. We feel like they're important, but then we can't quite depend on them and end up looking over their shoulder half the time. Eventually we'll realize that they've become more stressful than they're worth.

What about a bad hab worker, you ask? Those are easy – you can figure it out pretty quickly and get them out the door!

We've got 2 pretty strong hab workers right now, but they're both going to be transitioning to bigger and better things before too long (ie: graduating OT school and moving away.) So we've started looking for somebody new to step in and start learning the ropes...

We just had an interview with a candidate from a new provider agency (new to us, anyway). The girl we had spoken with at the agency was great, so we were hoping for good things. Unfortunately, not this time.. He showed up to the interview dressed like he was ready to hit the clubs – fancy shirt, boots, hat, chains. His background was in juvenile delinquents, not special needs. When Calvin came over to check him out, he didn't know what to do – it was like a deer in headlights.

Well, at least it was an easy decision...

Ad: Here are some Gift Ideas for your good Hab workers.