One of the unintended consequences of living with autism, and everything that goes along with it (therapies, diets, sensitivities, learning styles, communication, etc. etc. etc!), is that you get to be very proficient at spotting red flags in other children. This has become even more true as we've been able to watch our NT child grow. I'm not sure if this is necessarily a good thing; it is just something that comes with the territory.
Last weekend we were watching Jonas' soccer practice (a loose term to be sure, since coaching a group of 3-4 year-olds can be like herding cats!) At first glance it looked like complete chaos; there were never more than 2 or 3 kids actually paying attention at any one time. But somehow it was soaking in – once the coach got a drill/game underway, the kids inevitably fell into line and participated (to varying degrees of skill level). All except one.
One boy seemed to struggle with tasks that weren't necessarily easy, but which the other seven all managed to complete independently. These included running a "slalom course" through a series of cones and then kicking a goal (Dad had to help him navigate the course), shouting "GOOOOOAAAAALLL" after scoring (Dad reminded him of what to say), making a mess by spreading cones out all over the place (he placed his in a nice, neat straight line), and in general his running and kicking motions were less fluid than everyone else's.
I'm not saying this child has anything wrong, or is even on the ASD spectrum at all. But I know from first-hand experience how easy it is for parents to ignore (or not even see) these warning signs, and to make excuses for their little angel. But that's the wrong thing to do.
Early intervention is one of the key factors in determining a child's ability to reach his/her full potential, and the earlier the better. Not every kid is destined to be the next Pele, but if you notice that you're little guy is the only one who consistently needs parental 'guidance', putting your head in the sand is the worst thing you could do; it's time to start asking some very difficult questions.